Mormon Dating

By Ashley S.

When I was in seventh grade there was a boy in a few of my classes who I had a big crush on. I knew he liked me back and was planning to ask me out. And on Valentine’s Day, he did just that. But I had learned from a young age that dating this young was inappropriate, so I declined his offer. It was hard, even though I was so young. It made me lose some of my friends, and people in my grade thought I was being selfish. But I was proud of myself. Had I had taken him up on his offer I would have been taking a path that I knew wasn’t the path my Heavenly Father would have wanted me to go on.

I would like to clarify: Mormons do go on dates; however, we date a little differently. Our prophets have encouraged us to not date steadily as teenagers. They repeatedly insist that dating in high school is and should be casual and that you should never limit yourself to one specific person. But they have good reasons for that. By dating a single person very seriously, you severely limit your options. And who knows? You may walk right by the perfect person because you’re so devoted to that one guy you met as a fourteen-year-old. Another reason why serious dating is discouraged is that by constantly seeing the same person you are setting yourself up to do inappropriate things. Things that would never even cross your mind had the two of you been dating causally. The law of chastity (or keeping ourselves sexually pure) is highly regarded in our church, and having a serious boyfriend or girlfriend can jeopardize that law.

Another big side to our dating is the age limitations. We are encouraged to date only after the age of sixteen, and even then, they suggest group dating instead of one-on-one. This age limit is in place for a number of reasons. Reasons that were hard to understand when I was younger, but now that I am almost sixteen, they’re quite clear. For example, before you are sixteen you are not necessarily mature enough to have a relationship. You are only in the relationship for the physical aspect and you don’t really have a special bond with your girlfriend or boyfriend. Dating is a preparation for marriage. It should not be taken lightly.

5 Responses to “Mormon Dating”

  1. Stephanie says:

    Ashley, thanks for your post. I agree that dating seriously is not appropriate in the early teenage years. You are wise to live your life in appropriate stages. For example, I am so glad that I went on dates with different guys when I was 16-18. It helped me learn what I was looking for, how to be a better person, and then when the time was right, I felt better prepared to find someone with whom I could have a more serious relationship built on those healthy principles you can only learn from experience.

  2. Taylor says:

    Why are mormons stuck up? I am an ex-mormon, and I do not understand your religion anymore, I was raised in the church, but on the outside looking in… i’m not sure who you people really are. Elaborate.

    • Sarah says:

      Taylor, before someone does elaborate, perhaps you could explain where your opinion stems from. You’ve mentioned that you were raised a member of the church and now you do not understand the “Mormon” religion. I would suggest finding someone (possibley a missionary, if you feel up to it) to listen to your whole experiance. This might help get to the source of your frustration. In general, people who sincerely want to spiritually progress are not stuck up. But like everyone else, no one in the church is perfect. You may have come across some members in your life who are struggling with their priorities, but do not let them sway your opinion of the truthfulness of the Church. It is here for sinners and no one member is perfect.

    • Remember Taylor, we condemn the sin and not the sinner. We don’t pit down people! Because we “Mormons” finding different ways to live. That doesn’t mean that we are stuck up! We never try to force anyone to do what we do and we are for the most living happy lives!

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